


Brevity

by define_serenity



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Awkwardness, Caught, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt/Comfort, POV Outsider, Pregnancy, Roses, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-03-07 17:21:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/define_serenity/pseuds/define_serenity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of Snowbarry drabbles</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. it's over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first line prompted by **everentwined**.

"I think you'll always love her, Barry. I can understand that, but I don't think I can handle it."

A tear slips down Caitlin’s delicate porcelain skin, rosy in places after all the volatile words they swung back and forth between them, each more violent than the other, each underlining why this had been a mistake from the start. 

Things have cooled down, both of them retreated to one side of the room, but the distance lies scattered with all the words they said, couldn’t say, never will say. 

"And Ronnie?" he asks, shrugs, hands at his hips while his heart sets around all the truths spoken today.

They were both people in love with someone else when they started this, they both knew what they were getting into, but sometime over the past few months those non-options have spun into their utter  _impossibility_. 

"I’m sorry," she whispers with a slight shake of her head. "I love you. But–”

And God, yes, he loves her too. But it’s not enough. 

 

 

**\- fin -**


	2. the morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first line prompted by **anisstaranise**.

He's staring at his steaming cup of coffee, feeling defeated, when he feels her standing next to him; eyes glassy and apologetic.

"I’m sorry," are the first words to tumble from her lips, before she slides into the seat opposite him at the table. He can still remember those lips moving against his, skating down his body, and not the terrible coffee at the station nor this one has been able to whisk the taste of her from his mouth. 

Yet when he woke up this morning the bed was empty, left alone in _her_ _apartment_  of all places and stumbled back to his place uncertain of what transpired. They’d been on a few dates, they’d shared a goodbye kiss and a few snuck away at the lab, and he– maybe he did do something wrong, maybe he moved too fast, read the signals wrong. 

He shifts to the edge of his seat, hunched over the table. “Caitlin, if I pushed you–" he starts, careful, measured, calculated, since he’s had all day to think about it. She’d been right there with him, hadn’t she? She’d unzipped her dress and urged him to peel it off; he’d trailed kisses down her left shoulder as the fabric slipped down her body. And she’d– god, she looked so beautiful, a rosy sheen to her cheeks, her lips parted as he moved inside her, his name a whisper on her breath. 

"You didn’t," Caitlin hushes softly, reaching for his hand across the table; he holds it between both of his. "I– I panicked," she says. "I haven’t been with anyone since Ronnie and I never imagined I would be. And last night, it was–"

He casts his eyes down towards the table; Ronnie hasn’t come up in any of their conversations for a while, so it pains him to hear it now. They shared something beautiful and intimate last night, and to think it was the thought of Ronnie that sent Caitlin running… He understands Ronnie will always have some part in Caitlin’s life, like Caitlin’s accepted that Iris will never not be a close friend, but he thought they were building towards something stronger together, where there were no secrets and no need to hide. 

Where they didn't make _mistakes_.

"Last night I said goodbye to that life," Caitlin says.

The impact of her words is immediate; he finds her beautiful brown eyes again, heartbeat blinking out all his worries. She did feel it too, their connection that grows stronger each passing day, that inevitable moment last night when they’d gazed into each other’s eyes and gave into their desires; her fingers had caressed reverently between the freckles on his chest, unlike they did when she looked after him at the lab, every single kiss had held the promise for the future, each grunt and moan making her cling to him tighter. 

"I’m sorry I ran." Caitlin squeezes his fingers. "I do that sometimes. But I’ll try not to anymore.”

He takes a deep breath and smiles, finally able to pull in all the oxygen he needs again. “Thank you,” he says softly.

"Let me make it up to you." Caitlin smiles softly. "Stay over again tonight? I’ll make you pancakes in the morning?"

The lilt of a question in her voice has him grinning from ear to ear. Who’s he to deny her anything. 

He nods. “I’d like that.”

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	3. high school au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first line prompted by **chasingblue57**.
> 
> there might possibly be a complete AU of this one day

“Hey, Cait, do you think there’ll be any questions about electromagnetic interaction on the AP chem test?” Barry asks, eyes lifting over the clutter of open books and scattered notes.

Caitlin ‘Cait’ Snow, easily one of the smartest girls at school, halts to a stop at his table, and takes the time to smile and breathe, “Barry,” before she tilts her head, her eyes gaze off in the distance, and a cute frown knits her eyebrows together. He tries to pretend it doesn’t stop him breathing, but who’s he really kidding at this point?

"I don’t know," Caitlin continues, gracefully sinking into another seat at the table, her voice soft so the librarian has no reason to shush them. She leafs aimlessly through one of his notebooks. "We should probably cover all our bases. You know how Dr Wells gets when he thinks we didn’t at least revise the material."

She settles an elbow on the table, chin in the palm of her hand and finds his eyes, her own big and twinkling and good God, when did his crush twist him into such a mess? It’s been years now, years of quietly pining after a girl he can’t have, the girl in all those teen movies that all the nerds never had a shot with. Except in so many wonderful ways Caitlin’s as big a nerd as he is. Their shared love of science is the only reason he sometimes manages to get any words out at all.

“Yeah.” He huffs a small laugh, surprised when Caitlin remains by this side. He’s not sure he’d call them friends, they don’t exactly hang out, but they’ve been lab partners in Dr Wells’ class for two years now, mainly because they’d been the only sophomores to take AP chemistry. Dr Wells like to call them ‘his only hope’.

"Would you–" He blurts, the words out before his brain has decided he should ask in the first place, but he can’t well leave it hanging now. "I mean, if you– want to, maybe we could–" His own eyebrows knit together in confusion, words like ‘brain-to-mouth’ filter swimming in front of his eyes. Iris would have a field day watching him carry on this conversation. "Study together?"

If Caitlin’s at all bothered by his fumbling attempt at clarity she doesn’t show it, but her eyes set in an apology. “I promised Ronnie I’d go see him practice.”

Of course. Ronnie Raymond. Quarterback bane-of-his-existence, otherwise known as Caitlin’s long-term boyfriend. He never quite understood how the two of them worked, or why they stayed together when their interests barely overlapped.

"But tonight?"

His eyes find hers in .3 fractions of a second, heart stuttering hot flashes.

"I could– come over?" Caitlin asks carefully, eyebrows rising.

“Sure,” he breathes, vividly imagining Caitlin in his house, –in his bedroom, sitting crosslegged on his bed hunched over her textbook, brushing her hair back behind her ear every few minutes–, until his mouth does that thing again where it fails to consider his brain. “I mean– you can.” He nods, folding his arms together on top of the table. What even? “You should definitely come over.”

"Okay.” Caitlin smiles wide. "See you then.”

He awkwardly gets up halfway out of his chair as Caitlin takes her leave and sags back as soon as she’s out of sight. This is getting ridiculous; he is a perfectly eloquent smart guy, it should not be this difficult for him to talk to Caitlin. Yet he becomes tongue-tied every time she so much as walks into a room.

He nearly has a heart attack when two hands land on his shoulders.

“Way to go, Bar.” Iris’ voice sounds in his ear. “You really showed her who’s the man.”

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	4. concerned Barry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first line prompted by **elliefrickingreads**.

"Dr Wells, she’s waking up," he hears Cisco’s voice in the distance, but he’s wholly focused on Caitlin, by her side in a flash once he sees her stir in the bed, one usually reserved for him. He doesn’t like being on this side.

"Caitlin," he calls, softer this time, pushing a strand of her hair back – it’d been white no half hour ago, before Dr Wells administered the IV meant to wake her up from the coma. It’d been the most terrifying sight, to find Caitlin in bed with her eyes wide open, thoroughly unresponsive. The meta’s abilities had only affected him for an hour or so, and, terrifying as it was, the effects had steadily worn off. But it’d hit Caitlin much later and much harder. If Dr Wells and Cisco hadn’t concocted a cure using his blood a lot of people would be dead. Caitlin would be– 

"Barry?" Caitlin mutters feebly, her eyes fluttering open with some difficulty; he’d had to close her eyes before he ran her over here, something that’ll haunt him for a long long time. 

"It’s me." He draws closer, sitting down on the bed by her side, worry still well etched into his skin. "I’m here." 

Caitlin shoots up in a sitting position and grabs around his arms. “ _I was alone_ ,” she whimpers, her eyes big and fearful and it stabs him straight through the heart; the meta they faced could make people’s fears come to live inside their minds. He got lucky only enduring it one hour and it’s already left a mark too deep to mend, but Caitlin’s been out all day. Her heartbeat had been erratic for hours, eyes moving behind her eyelids as if going through REM sleep but her body was undergoing the effects of her fear. They’d believed the worst when strands of her hair started turning white.

"I tried to find you, but you weren’t–” Caitlin cries. “I couldn’t–” She shakes her head, her fingers digging into his arms. “There was no one.”

He cups her face in his hands and looks her in the eyes in favor of hugging her; right now she needs to see him, needs to know that she’s not alone, not ever, not even in her dreams. “I’m here, baby,” he says. “I’m right here.”

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Caitlin’s grip on him loosens. “You’re safe,” he whispers, and kisses her forehead. His heart finally finds a more steady rhythm, though he’ll worry about her every waking moment for a long time to come; try as he might, he can’t protect her from her own mind. 

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	5. nerd Caitlin

"Hey, Snow!" a voice travels clear across the field, up the wooden steps of the bleachers, spooking her out of the imaginary world of  _The Book Thief_. She looks up to see Barry Allen, the school’s biggest track star, making his way over to her, limbs long and graceful, and her cheeks heat up one minute degree at a time. 

"B-Barry," she stutters and pushes her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. "Hi."

Barry climbs up the metal structure of the bleachers until he’s eye to eye with her, arms folded around the steel, head tilted as he asks, “You here to see me?”, his breath coming out in huffs of mist.

"N-no.” She blinks a few times, her lie warming her chest and the back of her neck. “I’m just– working on my English assignment." 

Of course she’s here to see him; most of the other groups of girls currently out in the cold are here to see him. Not only is Barry Allen the track team’s pride and joy, he’s one of the most popular boys at school, good at maths and science, and really really cute to boot. He had trifectas of freckles littered up his neck and in various spots on his face, her favorite the one below his left eyebrow, not that she’d ever admit that to anyone.

"Allen!" the sports coach shouts, while she picks at a page in her book, her eyes pulled down again. Barry doesn't leave her side though, she can feel his green eyes raking over her face, and it speeds up her heartbeat.

"You’re good at English, aren’t you?" he asks. "You like books."

She glances up, brushing her hair back behind her left ear, and half-shrugs. "I like reading."

"Maybe you could help me out sometime.”

Her eyes go wide. "Me?”

Why would he ask her of all people for help? There are plenty of other girls or boys in their English Lit class who could help Barry out; she might get high grades in all of her classes but she’s at the bottom of the school’s social ladder. How does Barry even know her name?

But then Barry smiles _that smile_ , that open grin with all his teeth that’s so beautiful and stunning it almost coaxes a whimper out of her. "Yes, you,” Barry says.

"Allen!” coach shouts again. “Back on the field!”

Barry winks. “I should get back.”

Barry climbs down the railing again and tracks backwards towards the field, his eyes never leaving her. “See you later, Snow.”

 

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	6. red dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first line prompted on tumblr.

Everything spins so quickly all he can see is the color of her dress, the most beautiful shade of red. She wore it specially for him, she told him earlier, another evil dress he could get her out of later; he’d smiled, then blushed, because where her guardedness ended his shyness started, opposites along a careful perpendicular slope.

His hands are at her waist as they spin, and spin, and spin, and he can’t figure out how she’s not dizzy yet, because even with his superpowers his inner ear struggles to keep him balanced.

He laughs and pulls her closer again, her graceful curves pressed tight to his chest. “Are you okay?”

“I’m having fun!” She shouts over the music, bites softly behind his ear; his fingers tighten in her deep-red dress as he buries a smile into her skin. “Thank you for this.”

“You deserved a night off.”

Caitlin pulls back, brings their lips together. “We both did.”

 

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	7. valentine's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first line was prompted on tumblr for Valentine's : )

"Look, you can buy me all the chocolates in the world, I still won’t go out with you," Caitlin calls from her new favorite spot on the couch, clinging around the length of the body pillow Cisco bought her; he’d presented the soft pink pillow no two weeks after Caitlin announced her pregnancy, and she only started needing it these past few weeks, her belly grown big after eight months, but the thing has become her new best friend. 

"Come on," he insists, discarding the heart-shaped box of chocolates on the coffee table. 

Caitlin’s lips set in a tight line. “No.”

"Why not?" He sits down by her side and brushes her hair back behind her ear, making her snuggle deeper into the pillow. "You said yes last year."

"Last year I wasn’t the size of a tug boat."

"Honey, you look amazing." He laughs, heart settling warm around the memory of her in that red dress, her lips a matching shade, her hair braided sideways. But she looks just as breath-taking now, if not more, a warm blush to her cheeks that’s been there for several months, a calm washed over her that informs her body. 

"Can’t we–" Caitlin struggles upright, cupping her belly on one side, "–stay in this year?" Her mouth pulls down into a pout. "I don’t want anyone to see me like this."

He smiles softly. “Sure." The only reason he went all out this year is because he showed up late to their date twelve months ago. It’s not about going out, it’s about being here with her. “As long as your my Valentine.”

Caitlin smiles and leans in, pushing a soft kiss to his lips. “Always, Mr Allen.”

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	8. red roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompted on tumblr by **anisstaranise**.

"Whoa, dude," he calls the moment he steps foot in the Cortex, every flat surface filled with vases that hold about a dozen red roses each, red filling his eye sight, the scent of the flowers gently pervading the lab. "Who did you get all these roses for?"

Barry, in the center of the room, whirls around so fast his outlines crackle with red lightning. “Wh– What are you doing here?” Barry stutters, one hand at the back of his neck, eyes flipping back and forth between him and an unidentified spot behind him. 

His eyes narrow on Barry’s face, more than a little suspicious. “I forgot my phone,” he says, picking it up from between two vases near his desk. “Does Dr Wells know about this?” 

"What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him," Caitlin’s voice sounds scarily close behind him, and he turns to see something he hadn’t expected at all; Caitlin in a gorgeous blue gown, her hair pinned up.

His mouth drops open for a second or two, before he finds Caitlin’s eyes again. ”You two are on a–”

Caitlin’s eyebrows rise. “A date,” she proclaims, crossing her arms over her chest. 

"You two are actually– on a date. Together." He smiles so wide his jaws hurt. "On Valentine’s Day. This–  _is awesome_."

Caitlin and Barry exchange a strange look, as if they were caught in something they’d hoped to keep a secret for at least a little while longer. But why would they? They’ve been dancing around each other for close to a year; if Barry hadn’t asked her out he would’ve done it for him. 

"What do you think?" Barry asks Caitlin, hands in his pockets, twisting on his heels. 

"It’s a little on the nose." Caitlin purses her lips. "But a valiant effort, Mr Allen."

"I’m just–" he points over his shoulder and makes a half-turn, his sneakers catching on the linoleum floor so he almost trips, but neither Caitlin nor Barry seem to have much eye for him anymore as Caitlin closes the distance between them; Barry smiles and takes hold of her hands, and just as he's about to lose sight of his two friends he skids back one single step, to see Caitlin and Barry move closer and closer, until their lips touch.

He fist pumps; he totally called that. 

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	9. are you drunk?

“Are you drunk?” Caitlin’s eyes alight like two small supernovas as he sways into her body. He had meant to walk over to her in a straight line, yet somehow his legs refused to comply, so he’d made his way over in a wavy zig-zaggy way, bumping into his fair share of total strangers on the dance floor. 

“I— might be?”

Caitlin squeals and bounces up and down on her heels, steadying him with both of her hands at his waist, her fingers curling softly into his shirt; the simple gesture gently weaves somewhere around the haze at his temples, and suddenly his eyes fall to Caitlin’s lips.

“Okay, where’s Cisco?” Caitlin searches the crowd for any sign of Cisco. “We need to time you.”

“Can’t we just—” He catches her by the wrist and keeps her hands exactly where they are, warm and grounding as they are, and the words threaten to spill from his lips in a slip-slide of drunken thoughts,  _can’t we just stay like this_ ,  _can I tell you how I feel_ ,  _can we forget about everything but you and me for a little while_ …

But his buzz disappears in an altogether different slip-slide, his nerve traded for the same old familiar doubt; what if she turns him down? He’s been down that road before, and while his friendship with Iris remains intact, he’s not sure he could ever bear the thought of falling out of love with Caitlin Snow. 

“What?” Caitlin asks, her eyes shining in hues of green and red and blue beneath the dance floor’s neon lighting, a bright smile painted in her features. “It’s gone, isn’t it?” Her nose wrinkles adorably even though it’s meant to express disappointment, yet there’s no doubt in his mind that this will stop her trying. 

He licks his lips, and nods a huffy smile, but draws her closer to his body. Caitlin comes willingly, and before he has the chance to think this will come as too big a surprise Caitlin meets him halfway; she rises on her toes and their lips meet somewhere in the middle, the ground steadying underneath his feet, the last remnants of Caitlin’s brew dissipating in his bloodstream. He cups Caitlin’s face and parts her lips with his own, a different kind of intoxication spinning his head. 

“You didn’t just fake that whole thing just to kiss me, did you?” Caitlin breathes hard to his mouth, hands now clawing at his sides.

He grins, bumps his nose to hers. “Wouldn’t dream of tempting your wrath, Dr Snow.”

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	10. this is awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt: well, this is awkward.

Her smile slides down his neck as his finger slip carelessly under her untucked blouse, tracing fingertips along her hip, round to the small of her back, up the gentle slope of her spine.

“Barry,” Caitlin whispers, a breath along his jawline, her fingers frantically wiring through his hair– she has to know what it does to him too, the tug war it starts in his restless limbs, madness crawling beneath his skin. “We shouldn’t do this here.”

Any other protest falls away when their mouths meet in a lingering kiss, Caitlin’s lips soft and warm, the moan that escapes her positively burning straight through him. Caitlin’s right– they shouldn’t do this here, not where they chance getting caught at any moment, where there’s an even greater risk of unwanted questions, but with him so worried earlier, and Caitlin’s quiet reassurance she’d been safe in Joe’s care the entire time it’s difficult not to drift towards her, not to reach out and peel at all her layers. Even the invisible ones.

With where they’re at in their relationship it’s difficult not to vanish inside a kiss, inside this distinct and safe bond they’ve built over the past year. He and Caitlin fit, and ever since he stopped being so blind and her stubbornness dissipated they’ve surrendered to this whenever they could, as often as they found the time. No one knew. Not yet. They liked it that way.

“Barry,” Caitlin breathes into his mouth, soon lost in another kiss, Caitlin tucked safely in his arms, close to his chest, where their hearts attempt to beat even nearer. He could speed them home and no one would notice, but Caitlin has the almost unique ability to make him stand still in the eye of the storm.

“Well,” a voice sounds through the lab, striking as if lightning found its way inside, “this is awkward.”

Caitlin squeaks and stands to attention, her lips slightly puckered, Bambi eyes wide in shock, and he’d take the time to admire his girlfriend’s perplexed expression if it weren’t for the, “Cisco!” that falls from his lips, his voice echoing in every nook of the Cortex. Caitlin dives behind him, frantically trying to make herself presentable again.

“What–” –he tries to make himself as broad as possible to give Caitlin the privacy she needs, his arms flailing around– “What–” –his hands settle around his hips– “What are you doing here?”

Cisco’s face slips from embarrassed to sly in a matter of seconds, his eyebrows dancing in that characteristically Cisco way of his. “What are you guys doing?”

“Nothing!” he exclaims, while his tongue chases Caitlin around his mouth, on his lips, against his skin. His heart beats like he’s run a marathon; they knew this secret wouldn’t last, couldn’t last, but they needed more time to let whatever was happening between them blossom into something steadfast and strong enough to last through the next storm.

“We were just–” Caitlin stumbles into sight again, her blouse expertly tucked into her skirt, though she nearly sprains an ankle when one of her heels slips. “I was examining– testing–”

Caitlin looks at him for help, but for once he’s still wearing all his clothes.

“Okay.” Cisco nods, tracing a step backwards. “Alright. You guys aren’t ready to talk about this. That’s cool. I’m going down to the Pipeline and you two just–” –Cisco winks– “keep doing what you’re doing.”

With that, Cisco turns on his heels and disappears from the room.

Caitlin slaps his shoulder.

He jumps, rubbing over the sore spot. “What was that for?” he asks, watching Caitlin track towards her desk, purposely putting more distance between them. They haven’t talked about telling anyone, they haven’t considered the impact it might have or how it might make them feel, but surely it doesn’t warrant any panic?

“I told you we shouldn’t do this here.”

His eyes search Caitlin’s face for any real anger, but finds little more than traces of the shock of being discovered. And, really, that was her fault. “You kissed me.”

“And you should’ve stopped me.” Caitlin’s lips press together in a tight line, her hazel eyes burning with a sentiment much closer to embarrassment. “We both agreed to take this slow and not to tell anyone. Cisco is going to use this every chance he gets.”

There was a time when the thought of invoking Caitlin’s wrath terrified him; her spectacular anger in the wake of his reckless behavior only served to underscore how much he had yet to learn, but now that he knows her better, now that he’s seen past all her safeguards, he knows it comes from a place of concern.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

He blinks. “Like what?”

“Barry, I’m serious.” Caitlin sighs. “We’re still figuring out what we are, and–”

He invades Caitlin’s personal space, caressing fingers down one of her arms. “We’ll talk to Cisco. He’s not beyond reasoning.”

Caitlin puckers her lips in contemplation, and nods once she considers the notion. “You’re right,” she says, her hands settling on his chest. “Cisco can be bought.”

He smiles, taken by how quickly Caitlin can go from beautifully angry to incredibly cute. He likes to think that’s one of the effects he has on her. “Soda and twinkies.”

“Tacos.”

“Ice cream.”

“A few new toys.”

“And maybe we can let him name the next few metahumans.”

Caitlin laughs, quiet shock making way for the playful banter that made him fall in love with her. Because he’s not fooling himself; they’re still figuring out the ins and outs of what they started, but he knows how he feels about Caitlin.

He leans in for a kiss, stopped by Caitlin’s index finger over his lips. “Not here. Take me home.”

 

 

 

**\- fin -**


	11. You're the only one I trust to do this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt: You're the only one I trust to do this.

The oxygen she draws in doesn’t quite reach her lungs, her breathing short and shallow, like something’s sitting on her chest she can’t shake. “Barry.” Her fingers tighten in red leather, her eyes tracing a line of red down his chin, while Barry presses the trigger to the shaped charge into her other hand.  

“Caitlin.” Barry cups her face, licks his lips, eyes tracking the black hole’s progress. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

“I can’t lose you,” she cries, while her heart, too, tears around the dual duties they face– be each other’s spouses, be the city’s saviors; Barry can’t leave, but he has to; she can’t let him go, but she has to, and she will. Even the bomb, a thing of destruction, could save Central City from oblivion. 

To her, right now, it might as well be a key to the door Ronnie disappeared behind. 

“That’s why it has to be you, Caitlin,” Barry says, and she hates that she has this power over him, that she can make him doubt his calling, yet she’ll never hesitate using it. “I know you will do everything in your power to come up with another solution. But if you can’t, and I’m not fast enough– you’re strong enough to do this.”

“I don’t know if I am without you,” she lies, because she picked up all the scattered pieces the particle accelerator explosion left behind along the way, reassembled into someone who could withstand a lightning storm, someone to be proud of. Someone who can make the tough choices. 

“You’ll never be without me, you hear me?” Barry brushes her hair back, his green eyes asking her to be powerless for this moment only, because if she doesn’t he might yet stay. “Never.” He pulls closer and whispers, just for the two of them, “I love you, Dr Snow.”

It’s a prompt meant to stimulate a learnt response, a power he has over her all the same, one she happily grants him. She relinquishes her power, knowing she’ll need it twice-fold later. “And I love you, Mr Allen.”

Their lips meet in a kiss for the briefest of moments, encompassing all that doesn’t need to be said, all that’s been said already. Barry disappears in a blur of lightning, and it becomes even harder to breathe still. 

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


	12. I think I made a mistake

“He’ll be here.” 

His voice rings too loud in the room illuminated only by the street lights intruding through the window, raindrops an unsteady rhythm against the plated glass. Caitlin (and Ronnie’s) apartment is mostly uncharted territory---he’s seen the bedroom of all places, during that one night when he had her all to himself, all guile and fickle smiles---but the warmth of the living room alone sinks into his skin like a Cheshire cat grin. She has a good life here, with her burning man. 

“I’m not worried,” Caitlin says, wrapped in a burgundy poncho, and somehow manages to twist her wedding band around her ring finger with the thumb on the same hand. Her fidgeting doesn’t betray a lie so much as worries him that something else is amiss, something left unsaid, something caught in the shadow of a raindrop that tracks down her face. 

“I always figured you’d stop doing that once you were married.” He half-jokes, because the sudden weight in the air, in his lungs, necessitates a lighter tone, one they’re usually so good at maintaining. Ever since that goodbye kiss, ever since a past he didn’t (couldn’t) change, ever since Eddie proved the real hero, few things have come easy. “You’d think you’d be used to it.”

“I--” Caitlin’s voice cracks before a lie can drive to the corners of her mouth, and her head sinks down, her hair falling forward, all in an attempt to shield, to guard what she’s never been able to around him. 

“Hey,” he calls, absentmindedly brushing her long curls behind her shoulder, all so he can trace the back of his hand down her cheek. (He’s done that before, once, emboldened by the thought that it wouldn’t matter once he succeeded in saving his mom, they’d never remember. All this --the pain and despair-- wouldn’t exist.) “What’s wrong?

She leans into the touch, releases a grateful (relieved?) breath he’s unable to categorize, he can’t allow himself to label because in his (un)forgetfulness he might yet call it desire. 

Her eyes are dark when they catch his, animated only by the glint of tears catching in the light. “I think I made a mistake,” she cries, fingers closing vice-like around her left hand, the same that’s gripped around his heart. He folds his arms around her, ignores the part of him that agrees with her, can’t really bring himself to hate the man she calls husband. 

His “I’m sorry” remains somewhere between that moment alone with her in the Pipeline, his lips along hers, and when he saw a future self shake his head  _no, you can’t, it’s not right_  -- he didn’t return for her, didn’t come back to watch Eddie sacrifice himself, least of all to a new bright-eyed young cop who’s helped him find his smile again. He would’ve saved his mom and changed all of this, not chained them to choices he wishes to undo all the same. 

In some alternate universe, surely they’re together. 

A torrent hits the window. A pitiful applause.

In some elusive other world, surely he got away clean after kissing her. 

 

 

**\- fin -**

 


End file.
